The Team head o the club, they are each in matching hoodies with "Scorpian Death Nunchucko Team" and logo drawn on the back with sharpies and puffy fabric paint. They get to the front door where a rotund latino man in black sweats and drooping exposed gut is lumped on a stool. He has on raybans, and fidora. He looks as if he might bathe in bacon drippings. There is a filthy velvet rope holding back a que of kids. Mini Van and crew walk right up to the door man and pose. Mini Van turns and faces his team.
MINI VAN
Ok, this is it, tonight we are gonna fight! Fight like a mongoose...
KID DANGER
Like mongoose hopped up on Rockstar and pixie stix!
Fuck yeah!
Mini Van Raises his fist.
MINI VAN
Regulators! Mount up!
The team all raise their fists. The team gives a loud Marine type "HUAH!"
MINI VAN
(CONT'D)
We're here for the dancing competition.
This is "Club Mandingo"
MINI VAN
Yeah, and we're about to tear it Man- Ding- Out!
Door Man leans down to look at Mini Van from over his glasses.
DOOR MAN
(Quietly)
I don't think you want to be here.
So?
KID DANGER
(Whispering in fear)
That guy isn't wearing any pants... And he keeps winking at me.
Mini Van's demoner weakens, he starts to back step.
MINI VAN
So, we're gonna go.
MINI VAN
But we'll be back!
MINI VAN
With a vengeance Mother- Fucker!
EXT. MIDDLE OF THE STREET - NIGHT
KID DANGER
What was that, man?
MINI VAN
Motor Boat, break out the directions.
Motor Boat pulls out a post card that says "Dance Off", "Breakin'", and "Hip Hop" jumbled across the front of it. On the back there is a simplified map with a star in the middle. The team looks around trying to catch their bearings.
MOTOR BOAT
This is Sunland.
KID DANGER
There is the Pink Dot
MASTER THEIF
This looks like the right place...?
BIRD HOUSE
All the streets are right.
KID DANGER
Yep, lamp post, mail thinggy, bus stop... just like the map.
MINI VAN
The only thing that is missing is the big ass star in the middle of the road.
Camera crains up to reveal behind them, a neon star blinking to life. Choir boy sees it and his jaw drops.
CHOIR BOY
Mother fuckers.
The team turns around as the back alley blinks alive with a neon glow. In a doorway under the star, a red light flickers on and a door with a doorman seem to vaporize into reality.
KID DANGER
Gulp.
MINI VAN
Ok guys, remember all that stuff I said earlier about fear and stuff? this is where I meant to say it.
INT. BRIGHT MORNING STAR - NIGHT
MINI VAN
I'm gonna go see when we can go on.
He pushes his way threw to the stage, where he sees a very tall, thin black man who looks like he is in charge.
MINI VAN
(CONT'D)
Yo! The Scorpion Death Nunchucko Team is here! When do we go up?
K9 glances down.
MINI VAN
Bitch, I'm Mini Van, the Scorpion Death Nunchucko Team is here! When do we go up?
K9 Snarls as he points to the back.
K9
Take it up with him, meat sack.
Mini Van looks him over.
MINI VAN
What- evah.
INT. BRIGHT MORNING STAR - BAR AREA - NIGHT
Mini Van pushes into the crowd of people. Behind him, K9 is joined by two other large figures: Big Dawg and Chewy.
The team (sans Mini Van, and obviously under age) step up to the bar. Big Danger clears his throat. The bar tender turns to face him. The bar tender is a far Armenian-looking fellow, with curly hair peaking out from wherever clothes are not, large goat horns and goat eyes. He is cleaning out a glass with a blood soaked "No Fear" t-shirt.
BAR TENDER
What?
CHOIR BOY
(voice cracking)
Can we get some mother-fucking Shurley Temples? Bitch?
The glass in the bartender's hand shatters.
MASTER THEIF
Or, we could just leave.
BAR TENDER
We only serve one drink here.
BIRD HOUSE
Stolie? Oh God, it's not Stolie is it?
The Bartender just looks at Bird House as he pulls a kitten out of a box and wrings it into a glass.
BIG DANGER
I think I just pooped myself.